if only

if only I could wash
the love out of my heart
as easily as the blood
from my tights
from when I fell down that time
outside the bar
on New Year’s Day.

if only I could do the same
for my feelings:

if I only wish
hard enough
would you show up
say that you care
kiss me?

if only I could
remember my dream.

if only I could
Swype accurately.

if only he would stop
the random acts of romanticism, maybe
I could get over him.

if only I had a Swiss cheese
memory like you do, I could maybe
go on living. if only
I didn’t remember all the times
I’ve made an ass out of myself
in front of you.

if only Battery Doctor
could diagnose my life: