one good thing

every time I lie down
to try to sleep, I feel the need
to be able to think of at least
one good thing, one spark
of happiness to hold
like a tiny glowing ember
inside my heart
against the death-like dark
and keep me warm
until I wake.

if
I wrote a poem
that someone liked,
or I learned
a new song that I think
will be good at the mics,
or maybe if someone
out there might be
in love with me, those ignite
the little coal. often one
is not enough and I need to rack
my brain for another.

well, today
when I checked in
to the lobby of the building
where the recording studio is,
the security guard
upon hearing my destination
said, “do I know your voice?”
and I replied, “not yet”;
and after the first take
of the Magnum spot,
the engineer said “I want
chocolate!” and even though
part of me wants to stay up
and torture myself by
finding fault
with every single thing
I did today, maybe instead
I could try to hold on to those
two moments. maybe
they could be enough
to keep me
til tomorrow.