dark side of the moon

I was crying a little
last night
while you were sleeping
and I was lying next to you
trying to sleep. but
I couldn’t tell you
because I couldn’t explain it
even to myself, and I didn’t want
to ruin our morning love
with my inexplicable and
endless well of sadness.

it’s just
while lying there,
imprisoned in the darkness
of my lonely thoughts, I couldn’t help
but remember all the other times
with others when
I felt so alone
even though their bodies
were right there
next to me, my mind
was a million miles away, and
my heart felt like
it was on the darkest side
of the moon. I don’t want
to feel that way again.
but now I think maybe
the real distance
was created by me, because
I didn’t tell them. I didn’t let
them in. I should
let you in.

we’re closer
than ever. why then do I
feel so
very alone?