the pea

everyone thinks
that the princess
is a spoiled brat.
she’s such a wuss.

but she wasn’t lying
when she said
she could still feel the pea
under all those eider-down
mattresses. no matter
how hard she tried
to muffle the source
of her discomfort,
she couldn’t shut it
out.

imagine trying
to be intimate with a person
who has to have certain things
her way in order
to fully enjoy herself.

she didn’t want
to be selfish
so she gave her love
as a hxaro.

but she felt sort of sad
afterwards
because she knew
the prince
wouldn’t have wanted
to take his pleasure
without giving her any
in return, and she didn’t
let him in enough to
say that it wasn’t right,
wasn’t quite as she
would have liked,
if only she could have
made herself comfortable.

she made an executive
decision because she
knew herself and her body
and her quirks
and the pea was
under the mattresses;
there was no hope
for her to reach
that starry peak
under those circumstances.

but it was such a lovely day,
and music was made and
games were played, and
his favorite movie
was on TV, and
it was all good vibes and
she didn’t want to be
difficult.

even though
she is often difficult
in every other way
in her life. her oversensitivity
makes her particular,
and even when she wants
to get along, she often
complains.

so she’s sorry
for not being honest,
but she hopes
the prince will accept
her hxaro and know
her love for him and
maybe now he will
finally stop calling her
selfish.