your new girl

wow. clearly someone
has made quite the
impression on you.
well, goody goody gumdrops
for you. and good
for her, if she even
gets it, what a
powerful intellect and savage wit
she’s got hopelessly
pining after her, or what
lyrical flights of fancy
she’s inspired.

who the fuck
is she, and who does she
think she is? I feel a need
to know this.
I want to see her, meet her,
to nitpick every detail of her
face, her brain, her clothing,
her very essence
to find the ways
she’s better than me,
to find out what
she did so very right
and I did so utterly wrong.

I tell myself angrily
that I don’t care,
I don’t care,
I don’t care
anymore, as if telling
it three times
makes it true. I know
I have no right to care
and no business
pretending not to
just be happy for
my friend who
is so very much in love.

it shouldn’t matter to me
any more than that. but
try telling that
to my stupid spurned heart.
instead I must just
marinate in my pointless jealousy
because it is bitter
and because it is my heart.

Published by

R. Brookes McKenzie

what fresh hell is this

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