Tag: it came from Twitter

won’t someone else
please take over
the responsibility
of making me happy?
it’s far too big a job and
I just can’t hack it
anymore.

can you distract me
from the endless pain
of existence?
then by all means,
go ahead. you’re
welcome to try. it will
probably only make me
sadder, though, when the
old enemies, my black and
lonely thoughts of
impending doom
come rushing back in,
all the more importuning
for having been briefly
shut out.

sometimes I see a plane
passing by overhead
and wish that my heart
could just fly away
with it.

sometimes I am envious
of the dead, so calmly sleeping
in their cushioned beds,
nestled, resting in their cold,
peaceful, milk-white marble
tombs.

I’m sorry
I talk about my exes so much.
but they are part of me,
part of my history and
I can’t help it.

but also maybe it’s
somehow slightly less personal
than talking about my actual self
and sometimes I need
that fractional distance,
when revealing myself
feels vulnerable and
scary.

they’re safely in the past,
and when I remember them
I also remember
how I suffered
and how
I came out the other side,
scarred, but whole,
bloodied but
unbowed, and
I’m reminded
that I’ll be okay, no matter
what happens.

everyone wants someone
who will reflect back to them
the way they want to be.
the problem comes when
the person sees the real you –
the one you try so desperately
to hide – and loves it anyway.

what screws things up
is when someone
comes along who
likes you far more
than you like yourself, and
you can’t even entertain the thought
that maybe everything you’ve hated
about yourself your whole life
isn’t really that bad.

I just wanted to be his
everything, but that was
too much for him,
apparently.