the wall

I think
the thing I love most about
trying to love you
is the way you stand firm
against all my battering and striving.

I can throw myself at you
with all my might
like waves in the ocean
ceaselessly crashing
against a sea wall,
and you withstand it.

if you showed any signs of weakness,
wavering, or hesitance, I would
have had to be afraid
that I could actually
realize my dreams and desires.
that is not a prospect
devoutly to be wished, at all.
it seems the more hopeless the outcome,
the more I want it.

this is why I’m glad that your maze
is so very big and wicked. I can fight
it all I want; there’s no getting through.
a whole different fear
would suddenly appear
if I were to make it through to where
you live inside your castle.
that’s the place
where I lose all my bravery
and my armor. luckily I’ll never
find out, because you’re a great Wall
and I’m just the lonely,
ever-seeking sea.