little Lost Boys

why do I find you
so very attractive? is it because
I wish someone would notice
how very lost I am
and try to rescue me?
or is it because I hope that in
helping you – not fixing you,
not changing you to meet
some ideal you in my mind, I hope
(though often I see your potential
going so sadly unrealized) but by being
there for you, supporting you,
loving you – I can make myself
useful, needed, and valuable?
because I don’t believe that I
have value in and of myself –
always always always times infinity
not good enough –
so it’s help or die?
or maybe because
your childlike enthusiasm
makes me long to
join your games long enough
to forget my own sorrows?

Wendy eventually
grew up. she even married
a Lost Boy. but she loved Peter
and he refused to grow up,
so he came back many years later
and her daughter became
his new mother figure.
maybe every girl needs her
lost boy phase. but lost boys
don’t hold you tight, they’re too busy
having adventures and asking
for bedtime stories.

I don’t know what the answer is.
I wish I did. and it’s not like I want
to grow up either. just somewhere
in between childhood and adult,
some teenage Never Never Land where
no one talks about boring things like mortgages or politics,
but they still get to kiss sometimes.
does it exist? how about if I clap
my hands and wish real hard?


you don’t understand. when I said
I loved your t-shirt
with the cartoon of Taz on the front,
what I loved about it was seeing it
on you. it was your wearing of it
that made it adorable. in and of
itself, it’s just an elderly, faded, silly
piece of cloth.

that is why,
while I appreciate your gesture
in leaving it in the closet
when you moved out
your stuff, I must sadly
give it back. I will never
wear it, because I can’t see
the ridiculous graphic
on myself, and seeing it hanging dead
in the closet just makes
me remember a time
when I smiled to see you
with pure affection, like a child
that is someone else’s

so please, take back your Taz.
he deserves to be
happy too.